Nein Danke, Aldi!

I know I was picking on Publix a while back for their second string staff one night, but can I just say, I would take a Saturday night at Publix any day before I'd go back to Aldi. What a joke!!
I've never visited the one across town and I'd heard that it was kinda junky with no-name products. But today was the opening day for the new one right by my parents' house so I went with Mom just to check it out.
We brought our Publix Greenbags to represent, and because Mom heard Aldi doesn't have bags. Oookay.
So with Greenbags, baby, purses and baby cart-cover in hand, we approached the shopping carts out front, only to find them chained to one another. What the...??
Two Aldi guys were standing nearby to familiarize newbies like us with their system. We listened as one of them explained how to put a quarter in the slot on the cart and release the chain.
Me, already irritated, arms full, voiced my main concern, “And what if I don't have a quarter?”

“Oh, they can make change for you inside.”

How convenient.

Mom, fishing in her purse for Washington's silver face, voiced her main concern, “How do I get my quarter back when I'm finished?”

“You simply lock the cart back in place and it spits your quarter back out.”

How convenient.
(Remembering those times I've run in the store with only my check card in my pocket.)

Meanwhile the other guy stood by smiling and trying to convince us in his best fake German accent that these carts are the best carts in the world because they are German made. And that's why they are larger. Hmm.
A small line to get a cart was forming behind us so we hurried along to the entrance, leaving the fake German to greet other confused customers.

“Aah, velcome to Aaldi, ya?”
(Whatever. I'm convinced they hired an actor.)

We strolled up and down the aisles (all five of them) finding an abundance of cheap groceries stacked high, all brands I've never heard of, none of which were organic, and all containing wretched ingredients. (Wow, I'm such a grocery snob!)

The place was full of people, but I didn't notice very many full carts. I think people are hesitant of buying unfamiliar brands. Mom found a few things, including a German-made sunflower loaf with a surprisingly short list of all good ingredients. I got a bag of non-organic apples, an eighty-nine cent avocado, and some cheap toilet paper. Placing our items on the conveyer belt I noticed the shelf beneath which held bags. Paper and plastic. Ten cents each for plastic and six cents for paper. Thankful for my Greenbags, I greeted the cashier who didn't care. She was tossing our items in another cart at the end of the counter. Our Greenbags had been tossed in with everything else.

“Oh, these are our bags we brought,” I informed her.
I guess she didn't hear me. I pulled my cart forward next to the new cart with our items and began bagging my groceries. It was way too crowded an area to be doing this right there and as I glanced around I noticed others were bagging their own groceries at the designated “bag-your-own-groceries” counter behind me. Where was fake accent informant guy when I needed him?
I notified Mom of the unfamiliar system, so after paying, she made her way around to grab our new cart with our bags and groceries. It was then that the friendly cashier informed me that she needed my cart for the next customer. The cart with my baby, baby cart-cover and quarter in it. How convenient.

So picture a crowded little area, 2 large German-made carts, Mom getting groceries out of one, me getting baby, etc. out of the other, a cashier who doesn't seem to understand why we look so confused, and a line of customers waiting for my cart. The cart with Mom's quarter in it.
Mom pushed our new cart while I carried baby and gear. On our way out all I could do was frown under the EXIT camera. And “Heinrich the greeter” was the last person I needed in my face. Unless he was conducting an "exit poll", in which I would've eagerly participated. But he wasn't.

“Aah, sankyou for shopping at Aaaldi! See you next time!”
Nope.

It helped that we parked close by and it's a good thing we didn't buy very much. We unloaded the groceries and Mom went to return the cart. As she approached the small crowd listening to instructions, I watched a man hand her a quarter and relieve her of her cart. I know she wasn't looking forward to figuring out how to re-lock her cart and retrieve her quarter.

I was trying to imagine me shopping there alone with Cami. Taking her and her cart-cover out of one cart while pushing the other to the counter to single-handedly bag my own items, getting everything to the car, unlocking car, unloading items in car, locking car, pushing cart back to “rent-a-cart” station hoping to find person in parking lot in need of cart, locking cart, retrieving quarter, back to car, fastening most-likely fussy baby in seat, thanking God for creating Publix.

Like Mom said, Aldi is not the place to shop for people with small children.

Or for people with no quarters handy.
Or for people who are spoiled by Publix.
Or for people who cannot tolerate overly happy fake accents.
Or for people who like to eat healthy.
Or for people who like convenience.
Or for people who like familiar brands.
Or for people who like to pay with AmEx.
Or for people who like to shop after 8pm.
Or for people who might forget their Greenbags once in a while and don't feel like spending money on paper bags.
Or for people who like friendly, patient cashiers.
Or for people who like friendly, patient baggers...or any baggers for that matter.
Or for people who like to curb their cart when a cart corral isn't nearby.
Or for people who are accustomed to doing things the American way. You know, the right way.

I know they aren't trying to be a regular full-service grocery store. But I guess they found their niche in the small percentage of people who fit the above criteria. In the meantime, I'll be taking advantage of Publix BOGO sales.