This will come as no surprise to those who know me well, but I'm no Rachael Ray in the kitchen. In fact I may be the extreme opposite. It's not that I lack the skill alone, but the desire to cook up scrumptious concoctions somehow escapes me. I also fall short of the enthusiasm required to earn the title as "chef." Though I'm a little
too enthusiastic when it comes to consuming yummy edibles others have willingly put forth effort to make for me.
The word "cook" to me is a negative verb meaning a dreaded chore I must do when we can't go out or order out. And it usually involves sweating so that adds to the negativity. I inherited this attitude and dislike from my mother and we both know it and admit it. I would say it's just not in our DNA, but my Mamaw was famous for countless delectable dishes and her dinner parties were not something to miss. She found much joy in preparing many a meal in her country Tennessee kitchen and I'm thankful for those food-filled memories.
For whatever reason, I do enjoy baking. Perhaps my sweet tooth has something to do with it, but I'm always game for mixing up a batch of chocolate chip cookies from scratch. I think baking brings with it a much more enjoyable reward. Plus it's usually easier and involves ingredients with which I'm more familiar.
When my best friend and I were teenagers we officially changed the name "cookies" to "bakies" (
in case you hadn't heard), reason being obviously that the popular dessert is in fact baked, not cooked. And I being no expert, had no idea of the difference but took her word for it and did my best to promote the new title.
Another obstacle I face...spices intimidate me. We didn't even register for a spice rack when we got married because I wouldn't know what to do with them. There are way too many kinds and they come with so many rules (
which are not included on the jar) and I never know how much to use (
I'm usually safe with a pinch, right?) I'm sure there's a "Spices for Dummies" available, but again, I lack the desire to learn. Sometimes I stand in the spice aisle at the grocery and just stare at the neatly alphabetized array of little jars. On occasion I might pick one up out of curiosity, only to get frustrated at the absence of information on the label. No list of ingredients or nutrition facts or instructions for use like I'm in the habit of finding. I just want to know what paprika can do for me!
No, honestly I don't care.
Herbs are another thing that confuse the heck out of me. I know they are so beneficial but I wish I would learn more about them. There are so many that have peculiar and helpful uses. I know fresh lavender repels flees from Harley's bed. And at one time I used Wild Yam as a contraceptive. Heck there may even be an herb to help increase my desire to cook. Yet I remain clueless to that answer seeing as I don't care enough to pursue it. Sad. Herbs are supposed to be somewhat simple to grow but I've made two unsuccessful attempts at it in my kitchen window. The cilantro grew tall enough to laugh at me, then keeled over and died. As for the rosemary I purchased at the farmer's market... I think I breathed on it wrong or something. And the mint must've heard about my reputation before it even dared to surface. I'm okay with this herbal rejection because my aloe plant is presently thriving on the back porch.
There are a few things I
do enjoy doing in the kitchen.
I like chopping vegetables. I don't know why but I get a kick out of chopping up everything in my veggie drawer and tossing it in a pot with water to cook for a couple hours. There. That's dinner at our house. I didn't have to measure, read a recipe, saute something, marinate, or tenderize. And sometimes I even get brave and sprinkle in some marjoram (
thanks to my sis-in-law for introducing it to me.) My thing with chopping is I don't always know how much to chop off. Like how far down the broccoli stalk? Harley gets it anyway so it doesn't go to waste. Also with celery and asparagus...there should be some kind of cut line on those stems.
I also like
being in the kitchen. I like to clean it (
I'm weird), organize the counter tops, consolidate the cabinets, unload the dishwasher, and rid the frig of old condiments. It's odd but my favorite part about having the families over for dinner is the clean-up afterwards. I mean, not favorite over spending time with them, but favorite thing to be done in the kitchen.
I like creating things. Not casseroles and souffle's, but more along the lines of salads and wraps. Those are things I can make pretty. Making baby food has been my most recent creative outlet in the kitchen. I'm thinking about posting some of my scrumptious baby recipes to share with the world. (
One of them uses mini-muffin pans so it's kinda like baking.)
I have been known to find and follow a new recipe from time to time. Those internet sites categorize them according to the level of difficulty so I only look at the ones labeled as "easy" and then choose the shortest one.
**Tip: "Easy" in recipe world doesn't always mean the same
easy as we're used to.
I get pretty proud of myself if I actually follow through with an entire recipe and it ends up being our dinner. Josh is usually very impressed because he too is familiar with my lack of cooking interest. Though sometimes he walks in from work only to find his disheartened wife scooping or scraping something onto dinner plates. The following conversations may or may not have taken place in our kitchen in the recent past:
“What's the matter?”
“I cooked it wrong.”
“What do you mean by wrong? It's salmon. What did you do?”
“I don't know! I just cooked it! But I did it wrong!”
“Well, how hard can it be? It looks fine to me. Let's just eat.”
crunch, crunch, crunch“Maybe it's just a little overdone...”
“FINE! Harley's getting an expensive meal tonight and we're having cereal...again!!” (
sob)
Or that one time I tried to copy the ingredients from a Kashi microwave dinner because it was so good. I had
almost all the ingredients listed on the box... ginger and sesame seeds couldn't be too important.
“Just try it.”
“What's in it?”
“You'll see... it's all good stuff!”
“Like what?” -
sniffing bowl of unfamiliar goodness“Oh just rice and black beans and peppers...and some other stuff.”
taste, taste, taste“Is that mango?!”
“Oh yeah, that too. Isn't it good?”
“Um, have you tasted it yet?”
“Of course I have.” -
defensively“Okay, well you know I don't like mango...um, where did you say you got this recipe?”
“Well I didn't have
all the ingredients but I made some substitutes and it's really healthy!”
“Okaaay...so what else do we have to eat.”
sob, sob, sobI blame it on the ginger shortage.
My husband is far from being a picky eater and I have to give him props for being such a good sport and sincere supporter of my efforts, though usually disastrous.
Our dinners usually include something like: grilled chicken breast (
over-cooked because I'm paranoid about salmonella poisoning) seasoned with the seasoning mix I got from the farmer's market, rice or sweet potato, and steamed broccoli or cauliflower drizzled with coconut oil. Simple and yummy! Then we have popcorn and apples later while we watch TV.
Now wouldn't you love to join us for dinner one of these days?
Don't worry, we'll order wings.
